Are You Answering a Question or Solving a Problem?

Because I fly a lot, and because I know airlines hold back seats, and because I am tall (6’4”), I am frequently inquiring at the airline counter if there are any seats available that might be better suited for a person like me.

Me: “Could you look and see if there are any seats available that might be better suited for a tall person like me?”

Agent: “What do you mean?”

Me: (in my head, thinking) Seriously, look at me! Would you want to sit next to me for this 15-hour flight?

Me: (out loud) “I’m big, and the seats are small and close together, maybe there is a seat that you can see that might make it more comfortable for me and for the people around me.”

Agent: (no clarification, no discussion, no choices presented) “Here, I gave you 47J. Have a nice flight.”

When I boarded the plane, I found myself wedged in a row with a wall in front of me that provides zero hope of stretching my legs, while just across the aisle is an empty row with legroom galore. It was so obvious that the flight attendant watching me shoehorn myself into the seat I was given insisted I move to the nice seat across the aisle. Why did the agent not give me the more appropriate seat? Because the agent was answering a question, not solving a problem.

Are You Listening for the Question Behind the Question?

How often are we guilty of being quick to answer someone’s question without taking the time to understand what they are really asking? If you want to increase your influence with others and increase your reputation as a leader, you need to be on the lookout for opportunities to add value to the lives of your customers, colleagues, family members, and friends.

Here are several ways to increase your value to others:

-        Be in the moment – there are a lot of things that can distract you from the moment. Fight distraction.

-        Slow the moment down – Even though life is moving at high speed, when you stay in the moment, you can slow down the moment.

-        Focus on the individual – It’s easy to focus on the job and not the person. Focus on the person and make the moment meaningful for them.

-        Listen with the intent to serve – listen for how you can ultimately serve the person.

-        Ask the question – if you aren’t sure how the other person might be best served, ask the question to get behind the question being asked.

-        Be generous – If it is within your power to bless the person in front of you, don’t withhold the blessing. Being generous is a significant component of big influence.

Why did the agent not serve me better? There could have been many reasons, but what seemed obvious to me was that there were lots of people in line waiting to check-in for the flight. Often people at the desk are fishing for an upgrade to first class. The agent viewed their role as only the person handing out the boarding passes. The agent could have been having a difficult day was focused on themselves and not those at the counter. There are lots of ways to provide inferior service, but with intentional thought and action, you can make every person you encounter feel like the most important person in your world, even if the interaction is only a couple of minutes out of your day.